One foot on the scale followed by the other, this has always been a very nerve-wracking moment in my life ever since I was young.
Weighing a scary 27kg in grade 4 the teachers were so concerned that I was on the verge of being anorexic and collapsing at any moment that they suggested I joined the schools feeding scheme, needless to say, the food was horrible. I guess one could say that it was at that moment where I subconsciously began to take note of my weight.
A lot of time has passed by and my weight reached a plateau sitting at 45-47kg for a good decade, so that’s basically my whole high school and part of my working career. During this time I lived my life as normal and didn’t see anything wrong with my weight. When I started working in the hotel industry I automatically blamed my lack of being able to gain on the stress because I ate A LOT! (like a piggy). Regardless of how much I ate nothing would happen and no one actually body shamed me or mentioned I was somewhat skeletal, it was all just normal. Then the day came where I decided to take a break and resigned, for both mental and health reasons, it felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown and just needed a break.
Then the real changes began post resigning, I gained 15 – 20kg in the span of a year. I was confused, dealing with grief, and had no idea what was next since I resigned without a solid plan(I do not recommend doing this). In the midst of everything a new relationship began and he’s a chef so you can imagine, I was on a see-food diet(I see food I eat it) and my body expanded from there to a whopping 75kg.
Yes, naturally unhappiness and uncertainty then followed suit until the day I created a short video for the NN Style Cartel’s Instagram page, after doing all the editing and watching the final video over 100 times I had a simple epiphany. If I don’t take care of myself now… I’ll definitely regret it later, I mean it’s not like I’m getting any younger. Slowly after my epiphany, I began working out and running(sloth kind of slow).
Cutting out food I can live without and was more cautious about my daily intake but just to be clear till this day the food part is still messy but research is key. Working out is just as hard because, to be honest, I suck at sticking to routines, I’ve been on and off, gained again, and lost a little bit recently decided to take a different approach. I have a goal in mind that I’m busy with and will gladly share the final results when I’ve accomplished it, for now, I just wish to continue staying healthy and happy with my body.
Love yourself first, put yourself first, take care of yourself first and be selfish when it comes to anything concerning your wellbeing.